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Sunday, November 13, 2011

Forgotten



Exams had finished. All were happily leaving the exam hall. He was about to leave, then she came near him and gave him an envelope. She told,'happy holidays' and left. He was little surprised. He put that envelope into his pocket and decided to open it at home.
He knew that,it was a letter,may be a love letter...

She wrote-

"Dear,

I know you might not be expecting this from me but I have to tell you few things.
On the first day of our college, I was impressed by the way you talked. The happiest moment in my life till now is when you spoke to me for the first time. Later the impression turned to attraction and then to infatuation. Most of the time I kept watching you instead of listening to the lecture. You started to visit my dreams very often. It was some different feeling I never went through. As days passed the feeling became stronger. I was confused. I couldn't know what that feeling was. Sometime I felt to get rid of it but somewhere in the depth of my heart i was happy.
After spending few hours with myself , now my mind is calm. I have understood what I felt was purely a false attraction. In one month of study holidays I have almost stopped thinking about you. It's been many days that you have stopped coming in my dreams. Now it's clear for me, this is not a time for commitment, it's the time for dedication. Dedication towards my studies. I am at the cross roads of my life and I need to be more serious regarding my future.
I will never forget your first stare at me, the way you spoke in that debate competition, your poems and those few conversations which I had with you.
Now I am confident that I don't love you but you will have a special place in my heart because...
You are my first crush and probably the last one."

It was not a love letter but a confession.
Classes began after two months of holidays. His eyes searched for her but she didn't turn up for one week. Later someone told him that she had left the college and moved to some other place as her father had got transferred.
He felt angry that she left without caring for his reply. He tried to get her contact but didn't succeed.
Days passed, he almost forgot her but her letter was preserved in his diary.

* * *
She was sitting in the bus staring at her watch. The bus was almost full of passengers. Some of them were standing. Suddenly she saw someone in the bus, staring at her. He smiled. She tried hard to smile back. It was almost 5 years she had seen him. She had thought she would never meet him again. In these years life had changed so much, she was a grown up and had almost forgotten him. Those things which once upon a time seemed special were silly and stupid now. She didn't try to talk to him and even he didn't.
The bus stopped, he came near her seat, pushed a small chit into her hands and got down the bus.
The bus started moving. He had written something on that chit. She tried hard to read that. It seemed he had written that while the bus was moving.
It read- "Even I had crush on you."
She smiled and looked through the window, he was standing there at the bus stop,looking at her and smiling.
They never met again...

* * *
In the journey of life we travel with people who leave us when they reach their 'bus stop', they are never supposed to be our co-passengers, what we can do is just look back at them once and smile, but the journey should go on.....

Saturday, August 20, 2011

A 'Rain Story'



It's been 2 hours, am sitting beside the window, watching the rain. May be many people like me are enjoying the rain, just by watching it through the window.
I always used to think, 'Is there anyone on this earth who hates rain?'.
But now I know that there are many people who hate rain because of their own reasons. I am not bothered about them but there is someone whom I know, who really hates rain.

* * *
It was 5 years back. I was pursuing my Bachelor's degree. I used to stay in the hostel. There I had my own world, with lots of friends.... every year we were supposed to change our rooms. It was the last year and I was told to share my room with a girl whom I didn't know, well I can say, I had never seen or met.
My friend had dropped the course in the middle as she got married. I was alone in my room so i was supposed to share the room with the girl, who was completely a stranger for me.

That girl was very reserved. She hardly spoke with me. most of the times she used to be in the college library. even if she was at room, she used to keep studying, either academic books or any novels. I started feeling lonely and so I spent most of my time with my friends, who were in neighboring  rooms. But I had special attachment with my room because of the view I got from the window beside my bed.  I loved to sit and watch through the window especially when it used to rain.

* * *

It was July. one evening it started to rain heavily. I just ran to my room, to enjoy the wonderful rain. But I was shocked to see that all windows were closed. I was about to open them but the girl interrupted. she said that she had got cold and requested me not to open the windows. I couldn't say anything, she seemed ill.
Later whenever it rained, she had one or the other reason for keeping the windows closed. this continued throughout the rainy season. by that time I had realized that she hates rain. My friends and I used to make fun of her, we had kept her nickname as 'Rain Hater'.
Days passed...

* * *

It was October and one afternoon it started pouring. I was in my room itself and I had decided, not to allow my room mate to close the windows.
as usual she came to close the windows. I stopped her. I asked her, " What's your problem? Can't you enjoy the rain like a normal human being? I am not going to consider any of your requests, if you really hate the  rain so much then you can leave the room because I am not going to close the windows."
she was about to leave the room. I just went and locked the door.
I shouted, "Why are you like this? Why you act so weirdly when it rains? you act as if something really bad is happening with you. You have to answer me. I won't let you go out until you answer me."

She closed her ears and was murmuring something to herself. She was weeping. I felt I was too rude. But I wanted to clarify what's the reason behind her hatred towards rain.

She yelled at me, "You want the reason behind my 'Rain Hatred' right? then listen... just listen..."

"I was 10 yrs old. I stayed in our native village, with my Dad. mom had died after giving birth to me. I was brought up by my dad, he never made me miss my mom. everything was fine with my Life. those were the wonderful days of my childhood.
You may not believe me, I used to love Rain a lot. I used to play in rain, getting wet in rain was my favorite Hobby. dad never stopped me, in fact he used to play with me in rain.
one rainy evening..."

She paused. She was sobbing. I went to hug her, but she pushed me back.

"please don't stop me... let me continue... you got to listen the complete story.
so where was I..  Ya, One rainy evening... I was waiting for my dad, who had not yet returned from his paddy fields. that Day.. for the first time I was not feeling to play in the rain, I was feeling scared... I was weeping...
but dad didn't come... he never came back... 
late night some villagers came with the sad news that my dad was drowned by the flooded river while returning home....."

"later i was brought up by my maternal grand parents. it took many years to console myself. but i'v started living this life, without my Dad...."

"Do you know how I feel whenever it rains? you will never know...
It reminds me of that Scary evening when I was waiting for my Dad... who was dead...
It reminds me that He's not with me....
It makes me go through that Grief which I suffered when I was just a 10 yr old kid....
Huh.... you will never understand....you will never....."

she screamed, "I just Hate Rain.... That's it...."

she got up and opened the windows wide.... she said.. with tears filled eyes, "I hope you got answers to all of your questions.... Enjoy The Rain..."
she walked out of the room...

I was left all alone in the room, sobbing...
I wept a lot. for hurting her...
for scratching the wound in her heart which might have taken long time to heal....
I never knew that rain can make someone so sad.....

* * *

I apologized her later. thereafter we never spoke about rain.
we spent good time with each other.
later we moved to different places for higher studies and we almost lost each other's contact.....

* * *

It has stopped raining. I couldn't notice.I was lost in my thoughts....
whenever I keep watching the rain, it reminds me of that girl.
where she might be now? does she still hate rain?....
I don't know....

* * *

I am on my way back to home from office. Walking down with the umbrella....
Oh! I saw that girl.. Yes! the same girl....
She's walking on the other side of the road.... With a guy, may be her husband...
She's Happy. she's holding his hand and enjoying the rain...
I can't believe my own eyes.

I just crossed the road and went near her.
She's shocked to see me.
She said, "Hi...".....

* * *
we had a small conversation.
I wanted to ask her, how come she started Loving rain, but I couldn't....
later we walked in opposite directions...
when I turned back, I saw something beautiful.... Something I can never forget....
I saw that she was snatching the umbrella out of her husband's hand and was requesting him to walk in Rain....
I smiled for what I saw.... but I don't know why there were tears in my eyes....

* * *

I forgot to ask her contact number but that's okay... She's Happy... that's what I wanted....

* * *

Friday, August 19, 2011

True Love


Few lines, that were quoted in the novel - A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks

"Love is always Patient and Kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceited.
It is never rude or selfish.
It doesn't take offense and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins,but delights in the Truth.
It is always ready to excuse, to Trust, to Hope and to endure whatever comes."

Sunday, July 24, 2011

A conversation with God

Had read this somewhere few years back. Found it in my diary,just thought of posting it here.....

I dreamed I had an interview with God.
"So, you would like to interview me?" God asked.
"If you have the time," I said.
God smiled, "my time is eternity, what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"
"what surprises you most about Humankind?"
God answered,
"That they get bored with childhood - they rush to grow up and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health." 
"That by thinking anxiously about future, they forget the present, such that they live neither in the present nor in the future."
"That they live as if they will never die and they die as if they had never lived."


God's hand took mine and we were silent for a while and then I asked,
"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"
God replied with a smile,
"To learn that they cannot make anyone Love them. what they can do is let themselves be loved.
To learn that what is most valuable is not WHAT they have in their lives, but WHO they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons one loves and that it may take many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply don't know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can't buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they must also forgive themselves.
And to learn that I am here...... Always..."




Friday, February 11, 2011

A Walk...

Memories... memories...

there was a time when i didn't know how to Walk.
i used to struggle to walk.but there were people with me who helped me stand straight and to walk properly.they held my hands and taught me how to walk.for long time,i walked holding their Hands.even after i'd learnt to walk properly,they were not ready to leave my hand or may be i myself didn't want them to leave mine.
then came a turning.i was walking and to my surprise there were no hands holding mine.that feeling was very fearful.soon i realized that i was walking well, even without their support.yet they were walking with me, to hold me when i fall down.they were happy to see me walk, they were smiling.
i started to walk bit faster.those who taught me to walk were walking slowly behind me.
* * *

as i walked further,i met many who were walking just like me.some joined me, we all walked together.sometimes i used to fall, but they never let me stop walking, they never left me alone.some left me when i fell down, some laughed and some didn't care.but i was blessed to have those people who helped me get up whenever i fell down.they were holding my hand whenever i needed a support.slowly i learnt many things, to walk with others, to avoid those people who make me fall, to help those walking with me and to keep Walking.....
* * *

one day,i asked myself,'Where am i walking?where is my destination?'.i observed that,those walking with me were also feeling the same.some of them realized soon,where they were supposed to reach and they started to walk even faster....faster and faster.those who were happy walking with me were running further.even i realized my destination and started running.we were Running.....faster.... towards our own destination.
* * *


i was running happily.i was feeling the fresh air touching my face.i was confident, my legs seemed stronger than ever before.the only thing that i knew was, i had to run, run as fast as i could and to reach my destiny as soon as possible.
i ran so fast that i could hardly see if anybody ran with me.
i ran...i ran....i ran....
finally, i reached my destination.i rejoiced, i celebrated....but i saw that i was alone.i waited for those who had started running with me, but they never came.they were happy at their own destinations.
i saw those who had taught me how to walk were coming towards me.i felt very bad about myself...i'd almost forgotten them.
i supported them as they were struggling to walk.they said that their journey was ending and they were happy that i reached my destination.they added,"your Journey didn't end.you need to walk further."
i replied that i was afraid to walk alone and i needed their support.they consoled me,"keep walking.you'll find Someone who is born to walk with you." i asked,"how would i know who that person is?".
they smiled looking at each other and said, "you need not know.....that person will be holding your hand when the time comes."
* * *

their words kept echoing in my ears.i started to run, but i reduced my speed.i was eagerly waiting for that person who was born to walk with me......who was supposed to walk with me forever.....
then came a turning.i felt someone holding my hand.yes! it was the one for whom i was waiting.
we were smiling looking at each other.
we started to run together.we were holding each other's hand tightly.we couldn't see anything else other than each other.....the road....our next destination...nothing mattered....
we were happy... running together....
* * *


we ran miles.we enjoyed every road that we traveled.we supported each other.we experienced many things...together...
then came someone whom we were supposed to teach how to walk.we became busy teaching them how to walk.we were enthusiastic to teach them walk.it reminded us,of our early days when we'd learnt walking.
but even they left us,when they started walking on their own.....
* * *

we were no more running,instead we were walking.as time passed, we seemed tired.we were walking very slowly.
then came a dark night, the one who was walking with me, suddenly knelt down....
i couldn't believe, i shouted, "you can't knelt down now.you have to walk with me.....get up and start walking.still we didn't end our journey.i will support you....i can't walk without you....you should walk with me...forever...."
the one who was born to walk with me said the last words....."oh my dear....i can't walk anymore.my time has come.this is the end of my journey....end of my wonderful journey with you....but you should go on,still your journey has not ended....i am very happy that i walked with you...i ran with you...for so long...
remember one thing,nobody will walk with you forever.you are supposed to Walk,whether there is anyone with you or no one....be strong....keep walking till your legs stop....."
* * *

i screamed....i mourned...i wept...."i can't walk further....i don't wanna walk any more...end my journey..."
those closed eyes couldn't see me....there was no hand to wipe my tears......
* * *

i didn't notice that i was walking.i was trembling.....struggling to walk....
the memories of all the roads traveled till then helped me to walk further.....
the road said, yet i had to walk a little more.....
* * *


at last...i am....at the end of My Journey....
i'v knelt down.i am about to close my eyes.
i can see the Sun setting down.....
i am very Happy....
i din't travel the most wonderful roads but i had an awesome Journey.
i didn't reach the great destinations but i Walked with the Best people.
i am very Happy that i walked with someone without whom my walk wouldn't have been 'A Complete Walk'....
i am Happy... For not stopping my Journey at any point in spite of all the adversities.....
i am Happy..... For....a wonderful WALK....
* * *
The Sun disappeared at the horizon......

Friday, January 28, 2011

A wonderful Prayer


"O God,when i listen to the voices of the animals,to the sound of tree,the murmur of the water,the singing of the birds,to the rushing of the wind or to the rumble of thunder,i see in them evidence of Your unity;I feel that You are supreme power,supreme knowledge,supreme wisdom,supreme justice.

O God,I also recognize you in the difficulties I am experiencing now.God,let Your satisfaction be my satisfaction,and let me be Your joy,the joy that a Father takes in his child.And let me remember You with calmness and determination,even when it is hard for me to say: I love you."

It's written by Egyptian Sufi master Dhu'l-Nun ,quoted by Paulo Coelho in Like the flowing river.